So I have seriously attempted to clean and organize over the past two nights. Honestly, it’s not my favorite thing to do, but once I get into it. I find so much enjoyment in it. I have decided that I’m going to take a very decisive look at my stuff and throw a lot of it away. For example, clothes that I like, but know I’m not going to wear, stuff I’ve been hanging onto that I have no true personal connection with…things like this…

A John Malkovich nesting egg set (I’m actually giving this to my friend Lorilyn who seems excited to take it off my hands).

And these candles and candleholders have to go. I’ve been harboring a scented stash for a couple years now that have been sitting in a box untouched. I also threw some away. Yay. Good for me 🙂

I’ve finally decided to let these baseball cards go. I have no interest in them and I realize that I only bought them to be cool in 6th grade. I have a picture now and that’s ok.

But on the flip side of purging, I have those items that I feel conflicted about throwing away…this old award, for example, doesn’t make me long for high school…actually the reason I got nominated for it was a joke (I was the only impassioned one on yearbook and our yearbook was a serious joke). But it has my name on it and if I throw away, it’s like part of me is out in the universe that will ultimately become broken or questioned. Kinda like when you go to a yard sale and see old photos. The thought of this makes me sad.

I always loved this belt (wore it for like 4 years). It was my favorite and it just broke last month. What’s a girl to do? Toss it like it meant nothing? I thought about revamping it and turning it into a headband, but is that really going to happen? It would prob. just go on that long list of ideas in my head that never come to fruition. What’s a girl to do?

Then you have this, an old game board box that is torn up except for this image… I think I liked it cause it was so absurd. The cards inside the game told you to act like a rock and do stupid things like jump in the air for 27 seconds and if you could, you could lose all your money (losing your money was the goal of the game) I really don’t think I can throw this away. Maybe I should frame it. I like the idea of framing quirky stuff and putting it in your kitchen or living room old like old Applebee’s décor.

Then you have things like my eyeglasses. They have so much sentimental value to me, cause they represented me and my identity in different phases of my life. It pains me to think about giving them away…

And I love seeing artwork I did from way back when. I did this one in 6th grade. I think this also tells you alot about me as an artist during that period of my life and gives you a little insight into what I do now (I can see the linear/pattern/graphic style, can you? It’s so organized in it’s space, which is how I design now, too. Notice, too the lower right corner of the right butterfly. There’s a W and an S in there and that was the initials of the boy I liked at the time. I was always sneaky about incorporating stuff like that into my artwork back then.

This change purse was given to me by my grandmother after she went on a tour bus trip out West when I was 8 or 9. I think she also got me one in white. I have very few childhood things and I don’t like parting with them. Man, I wish I had some of my old t-shirts and sweatshirts from back in the day…or atleast a photo of them.

The problem with purging is just that so many things have so much sentimental value. I think I can use my camera as a way to stay reconnected to my things and still purge, but there will always be those things I won’t be able to part with. The sad thing is that they only have value to me and once I’m gone, they won’t be appreciated the way only I can. They are just things. Why do I have to get so attached??? The good news is that while I have a lot of stuff, I don’t consider myself a packrat. I sometimes see those organizing shows and wonder why people can’t let go. I’m getting better (giving up my magazines, for example). I just have to keep it all in perspective and be rational.

O.K. That was a really long post, but I guess I had a lot to say. Until tomorrow Swellions!